I had a vision this morning I would like to share.

I was laying in bed, just waking up this morning — you know that place where you’ve just woke up but not ready to get up. Before me in this vision I saw a screen and on this screen pictures appeared much like a slide show. The first picture I saw was of three children on a bed huddled in the corner of a room. I was aware the children were in a shack in the Appalachian Mountains. They were covered with a thin blanket huddled together trying to stay warm. These children were young, dirty, shivering and had a look of despair on their little faces. I could tell this shack was freezing; there was no heat.

As the picture broadened, I saw the mother standing on the other side of the shack in what would be the kitchen area. The cupboards were open and were totally bare. She was standing with her arms crossed trying to warm herself as she stood looking at her children. The mother had on a thin skirt and shirt and looked as though she was in shock. She had no heat and no food for her children. I saw her walk over to them trying to tuck the threadbare blanket around her children the best she could to preserve the body heat that she was hoping they could produce by huddling together. This scene left me ill as I lay there cozy in my bed.

Immediately the scene changed. I was shown a large church and the people coming to worship. I could tell this was in an area that was middle to upper middle class. Nice cars were driving into the parking lot, as the people got out of their cars they were well dressed, well fed. Families laughed and joked with their children as they walked into the church.

The picture then changed. Again I was taken to a picture of poverty, a trailer where children were sitting together, young children. They were filthy wearing dirty clothes, little torn t-shirts, shorts and barefoot, although I knew the weather was cold and they were not properly dressed or taken care of. One of the children went into the kitchen looking for food but could not reach the cabinet. The place was filthy, dishes in the sink; it was obvious the kitchen had not been cleaned in quite some time. One of the children was asking the older one to please find some food. As the picture changed, I saw the mother in her bedroom smoking a pipe, lost in her addiction, oblivious to her children and their needs. I was once again sickened by what I saw.

The next picture went back to the church. Only this time I was aware I was watching these people go into the foyer. They were ordering coffee drinks and walked their family into the large sanctuary. The sanctuary looked more like where a concert would be held with all the lights, staging, scaffolding. This family sat down sipping their coffee and started to fuss with their children’s hair making sure they looked presentable. As service started the scene faded out.

The scene flipped back another picture of poverty. And so this went on an on, from a scene of poverty, to a scene of a large comfortable church and back to poverty.

The slide show was speeding up, gaining momentum until I saw the Christians leave the church to go home. I saw into one of the homes and saw the husband go into his office while the wife started a meal for the family. He went to his computer and pulled up vacation destinations, in particular the Bahamas. He called his wife in and asked her where she wanted to go this year. After this the picture shifted back to move pictures of poverty.

The pictures were coming faster and faster and I could feel an urgency, a tension in the air. I again was taken back to the church and saw a Christian writing a check for the new building fund and put it in the offering plate. God showed me how he and his wife had talked about how much to give earlier before coming to church and they would give out of the overflow. I heard the conversation. They were excited to be able to build a larger church with more programs for their family. They had made this church the center of their life. Everything they did revolved around the church and were more than eager to be funding the church because they felt they could protect their family from the world as long as they immersed themselves in this community. Their motives were self-serving.

By this time the pictures were changing faster and faster. I saw a man standing at home with his ‘toys.’ He was buying all the grown up toys he wanted; what he saw, he wanted and what he wanted, he bought. He felt no guilt in indulging himself, rather he felt he was blessed by God to be able to buy these things, that somehow God wanted him to have these things.

By this time was I very nervous, because the pictures were changing so fast and I could feel foreboding in the air like the electricity one feels when around a lightening storm.

Suddenly I heard a loud sound, monstrous thunder and a roar. The ground was shaking and it was as if the world was coming to an end. The roar was deafening and as I looked up, I saw the heavens part. The clouds were being pulled back and the heavens were parting before my very eyes. Instant terror overtook me as I fell to the ground face down. I knew this was God himself who was doing this. I couldn’t look up I felt such terror. All I could do was beg for forgiveness. I felt the weight of my sins and knew I was before a holy God. I wept and begged for forgiveness, personal forgiveness and forgiveness for the church body. Then I heard — mixed with loud sounds of thunder a roaring — his voice! I dared not look up; I was frozen prostrate before the Holy God and knew judgment was here. I could not look up even if I wanted to but somehow felt if I tried I would be instantly destroyed. I was also aware there were others laying prostrate but I never saw them.

The first words I heard rumble through the air made me physically ill. I heard the following words: “GREED,” followed by a pause, “SELFISHNESS,” followed by another pause, “IDOLATRY,” “LUST,” “PERVERSION” and the list went on. I knew God was judging the church. At that moment I knew I didn’t deserve mercy or favor.

I cried out over and over, “Jesus, have mercy on me! Forgive me Lord for all my sins! Oh God I don’t deserve any mercy, I beg for forgiveness!” I could not stop repenting and asking for forgiveness. I will never forget the weight of my sins and my complete helplessness to do anything BUT beg for forgiveness.

Then I heard that voice speak again and I knew God was addressing the church. I heard, “YOU who ask for favor, YOU who ask for recompense, YOU who ask for justice, do you not know, it is you, YOU who judgment will fall upon first?”

I was shaking so hard because I knew I have asked for favor, recompense and justice and felt the very weight of my sins.

The booming voice further addressed the church, “You have lifted your voice to me crying for justice from one who has offended you. You have lifted your voice to me crying for recompense from one who has stolen from you. You have lifted your voice asking for favor, but the favor you want is for your personal gain. YOU LIFT YOUR VOICE TO ME to ask me to bless your sinful ways. You have not forgiven the one who you feel took from you. You have not taken what I blessed you with and been obedient to do as I ask. You have not worshipped me in truth and obedience, but your worship is self-serving, your prayers are self-serving and the desire of your heart is self-serving. You try and manipulate me because you have become so self-delusional, you lie to yourself. You do not serve me, YOU SERVE SELF. I see the very center of your heart, I see it all.”

At this moment I was shown another picture as I lay there trembling. I was shown, as the clouds parted, this black massive storm was present and out of this mass of storm I could see the throne. I was aware that the God of this universe had stood up and was stepping off his throne to come down in a fury in judgment. I cried, shivered and waited to be destroyed.

Instantly a picture flashed in my mind. I was looking inside a large church, but what I saw confused me. I saw people standing in the sanctuary looking up at the heavens at the very scene I was witnessing. I was aware they too were standing before God yet they were doing just that, standing while I could not lift my face as I lay there. I saw the people listening to the very words I was hearing God speak and then look at each other with indignation. I heard one man remark that this must be a joke. How could God be angry at them when they have done so much for him? The people started agreeing with each other and discussing how righteous they are and perhaps they need to rethink about serving God if this is the way he’s going to treat them. They started yelling back at him, quoting scripture to him and demanding he change his message and start appreciating what they’re doing for him.

I lay there begging God to forgive those standing there yelling at him and complaining in indignation. I thought to myself, how can these people even stand in his presence much less shout back at him when I can’t even lift my face, and instantly I head, “Their minds and hearts are seared.”

The terror going through me paralyzed me and it seemed to go on forever. I could not stop asking the Lord to forgive me for all my sins and my selfishness, repentance was flowing out of the very core of my being. Then I felt his gaze rest upon me. I thought I was in terror up to this point, but the terror went to a new place when I felt his gaze stop upon me.

Instantly I saw another picture, only this was like watching a movie. I was back looking at the Appalachian Mountain area again. It was as though I was flying over the land going from shack to shack, county to county. As I watched I heard the booming thundering voice say to me, “Daughter, where are my churches? Do you see my people here?”

I kept looking in vain to see a church yet all I could see was land and poverty and an occasional shack for a church. I could not answer the Lord, the anger in his voice had my throat paralyzed in fear and dread.

He went on to say, “Where are the church plants my daughter? Where are the large ministries? There’s no reason for this, NONE! I bless my people yet they build idols calling them ministries for self-serving purposes and drown out the cry of the hurting. They build church plants where they feel it’s cost effective. They pick and choose who they want to minister to based on financial gain and promotion. They ask me for finances to reach the lost, but once they start getting money, there’s never enough before they’ll start. They pocket the money and tell me they need more before they can reach out like they want to. IT’S NOT UP TO THEM TO PICK AND CHOOSE WHERE THEY MINISTER!”

My heart was frozen, my mouth was frozen and all I could do is think, JESUS FORGIVE ME! I felt his anger, his fierce anger and realized for the first time what holy really means and how I cannot stand in the presence of a holy God. I have received words before that he has had me write down to speak forth where I have felt his anger, but I cannot truly describe this level of anger and judgment. I was aware this was judgment and this judgment has fallen upon the church.

I lay there shaking, not sure what was coming next, and then I heard him say, “Daughter, you have asked me for forgiveness and mercy. You have asked me for favor, you have asked me for recompense.” My heart sank dreading what was coming next.

“Daughter I am granting these things to you. I have found you faithful. I am granting you favor, I am granting you mercy and I am granting you recompense.”

Instantly the dread lifted from me as a flood of tears overcame me as I knew I deserved none of these things. As soon as I heard these words, I saw the picture of the church building I had seen earlier, the large church and it’s people yelling at the Lord and felt a massive earthquake. I saw the church fall like the buildings that came tumbling down in the 1906 San Francisco earthquake. The bricks fell on top of all the people in that church until it all went quiet.

I called a friend of mine to tell her about this vision and the following verses came to her.

2 Samuel 22:8-28

⁸ “The earth trembled and quaked, the foundations of the heavens shook; they trembled because he was angry.

⁹ Smoke rose from his nostrils; consuming fire came from his mouth, burning coals blazed out of it.

¹⁰ He parted the heavens and came down; dark clouds were under his feet.

¹¹ He mounted the cherubim and flew; he soared on the wings of the wind.

¹² He made darkness his canopy around him — the dark rain clouds of the sky.

¹³ Out of the brightness of his presence bolts of lightning blazed forth.

¹⁴ The LORD thundered from heaven; the voice of the Most High resounded.

¹⁵ He shot arrows and scattered the enemies, bolts of lightning and routed them.

¹⁶ The valleys of the sea were exposed and the foundations of the earth laid bare at the rebuke of the LORD, at the blast of breath from his nostrils.

¹⁷ “He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters.

¹⁸ He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me.

¹⁹ They confronted me in the day of my disaster, but the LORD was my support.

²⁰ He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.

²¹ “The LORD has dealt with me according to my righteousness; according to the cleanness of my hands he has rewarded me.

²² For I have kept the ways of the LORD; I have not done evil by turning from my God.

²³ All his laws are before me; I have not turned away from his decrees.

²⁴ I have been blameless before him and have kept myself from sin.

²⁵ The LORD has rewarded me according to my righteousness, according to my cleanness in his sight.

²⁶ “To the faithful you show yourself faithful, to the blameless you show yourself blameless,

²⁷ to the pure you show yourself pure, but to the crooked you show yourself shrewd.

²⁸ You save the humble, but your eyes are on the haughty to bring them low.

Melinda O’Dea, March 3, 2008

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